One Of The Strangest Dreams I've Ever Had

Awhiles ago, Brandy challenged me to write things about myself that nobody knows. I told her to go pound sand and mind her own business. But then I changed my mind.

Last week, I told you all about the time that I had to use a car key as a Q-Tip. And now I have a new one.

I often dream about escaping from New York. Literally escaping. I stand on the shoulder of the Bruckner Expressway and wait for a vehicle that I can easily hop; like a modern Boxcar Willy. In last night's dream I saw a bus that I could very easily hop upon due to a lever that causes a seat to jut out the side. I ran alongside the bus and pulled the seat out. Unfortunately the seat was already occupied by Dr. Nick Riviera from 'The Simpsons' so I jettisoned him and took his place. Then the bus suddenly was an airplane. There's was some fashion-elite lady on the plane that kept talking in a snooty voice. I had drifted to sleep with the television on and at this point the TV's audio started to mingle with my dream. I could hear the Select Dental ad seeping in. Then the snooty fashion-elite lady started raving about Select Dental. I awoke bolt-upright with a gasp.